My intention was to start blogging about my own happiness project starting May 1st and I was going start with organization but a friend of mine with a big heart started organizing me yesterday so it seemed like the perfect time to start. And honestly, since this is probably going to be the hardest part of my happiness project, I'm gonna need an extra few days. As a "creative person" I have the perfect excuse for my lack of natural organizational skills. No matter what task I am working on, cooking, painting, doing make-up or picking my own wardrobe for an event I need to see all of my options laid out around me. To add to the challenge of this part of my project, I just closed my 1750 foot art studio 4 months ago. Opening a business, creating a brand, buying supplies, creating the atmosphere of the space is much more fun than closing a store. The decision took months but nothing prepares you for the devastation you feel telling your customers that your doors are closing and the knowledge that this dream is over. To my friends, family and customers I appeared to be moving on but my heart is still broken. I still receive e-mails from customers asking me about summer camps, lessons and birthday parties and with every inquiry I wonder, if I would have hung on longer, could I have made a success of it? But that ship has passed and so many new opportunities sail in every day. My point here is that when I closed the shop I left almost everything there because it was so hard to go back and sort through all the memories-each bottle of paint, palette, glass tile, piece of construction paper reminds me of the joy that happened at Art Rocks Studio.
Last week my girlfriend's and I were scrapbooking and I told them how sad it made me that all of those things were sitting there, unwanted and unused and how I was paralyzed to do anything about it. My friend Emily's mother Kathy decided to help me out. Together with her husband they went to the studio and took everything they could, some of which they put in storage, some they are giving to my friend for her classroom and as I saw yesterday, some are hanging around her house. As happy as I am that these things have found a new home I feel a little guilty for transferring my burden to Kathy-her answer "we are all happy-we have all won". Thank you Kathy.
So, my happiness project starts now. We will see if organizing my life will add to the quality of my life. And, although I can't take much credit for the organization that has taken place, I can tell you that I already feel a bit lighter.
The first step in doing this is to take the time to figure out what your theme has been-If you could put a label on it what has the past 5 or 10 years been about. It took me awhile to figure this out. I feel like I am constantly in a state of change-A make-up artist, a mother, a student, a docent, a teacher, a business owner. Thinking about this made reflect on why am I always going in different directions. Do I have A.D.D? Why can't I stick to one thing and why am I never satisfied. After days of thinking about this I had an epiphany. I have spent the last 20 years of my life trying to prove myself-to others but mainly to myself. I save mementos from all of these accomplishments afraid to throw them away for fear of forgetting and losing the pride I feel when look at them. I save all of the cards, drawings, notes and letters from my art students. I save all of the pictures taken from photo shoots that I have worked on, I save thank you notes from friends, newspaper clippings and encouraging notes from my art museum classmates.
